Monday, September 20, 2004

The good, the bad, and the questionably sane

peeking pinata
Originally uploaded by *Karo*.
Let's start with the questionably sane, shall we? I drove down to Austin Saturday to visit with some DC friends who were in town and to see my buddy Suze. Suze, as I told her this week, has a heightened sense of whimsy. Apparently, her law school friends share said sense, as her boyfriend and his roommate, with the help of some other folks, have erected a fort in their living room. Just in case you think you may have misheard, I have photographic evidence of the fort, which includes an atrium, nook, internet workstation, and air conditioning. Feast your eyes on this, boring adult friends. Apparently, we do not know what being truly alive is. Also, we do not have creepy piñatas in viking hats staring out of our front windows.

fort outside
Originally uploaded by *Karo*.
The fort is built on a skeleton of PVC piping that was bought for the specific purpose of fort-building at Home Depot. Clothespins and upturned furniture are also used liberally. That's the air-conditioning duct that's prominently visible.

fort inside
Originally uploaded by *Karo*.
Here's the inside. It's quite spacious. So spacious, in fact, that Suze can hardly believe it.

On to the bad! Many of you have asked about the conclusion of last week's plumbing fiasco. I carefully watched the plumber's eyes when he came inside to survey the damage and was relieved to see that they did not widen in horror. In fact, he assured us that he sees similar cases on a daily basis. Imagine our surprise, then, when 15 minutes later we looked outside to see a ladder and found him up on the roof. I didn't want to question his ability, as it was 9:30 on Friday night and he was our Only Hope, but I yelled up, "Hey, whatchoo doin' up there?" Just to be on the safe side, I followed the question with a hearty, non-confrontational chuckle. People, you will not believe this, but that is indeed how you fix clogged drains. You clambor up on the roof and clear out some vents. $250 and lots of elbow grease later, we have a fully functional and sparkling clean bathroom.

The bad carries quite a hefty price tag, as it also includes the $400 new pool pump motor we had to buy late last week, and the $200 I had to spend today to buy a new tire. Austin drivers, beware the curb outside of Suze's apartment, as it is coated in razor blades and starving baby piranhas. Be particularly careful on Sundays when Volvo dealerships are closed and your car has new-model tires that are not sold ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. Because then you know what happens, Austin drivers? You then have to spend four and a half hours on I-35, on a donut, at 50 mph with your hazard lights on, hands clenched in a death grip around the steering wheel as 18-wheelers descend on your rear bumper and change lanes mere seconds before they flatten you into roadkill.

Almost $1,000 of bad later, it's finally time for the good:
  • Mad props to a certain someone with a very presidential last name, a certain someone who was kind enough to lay down on the dirt on a very hot Austin Sunday afternoon and change my tire. Please email me your address so that I can hustle over to Hickory Farms and purchase you a gift basket, preferably one featuring a three-pound Beef Stick.

  • Only slightly-less-mad props go out to Suze, who let me sleep on her couch, park by her piranha-infested curb, and agreed to go see Bob Schneider Saturday night even though she no longer wants to have his babies. I do, though, Bob. I really do. Seriously. Wait. Where are you going, Bob? WAIT!

  • Last among the good is the fact that I GOT A MOTHERFUCKING JOB. Starting October 1, there will be a cubey with my name on it at UTD. And as if that wasn't good enough, at today's interview, the words, "Why don't you go home tonight and spec out the computer you want and let us know so we can buy it, ok?" were uttered, which may just be the most awesome words ever spoken aloud.
Sweet, sweet 20-inch iMac G5, you will soon be miiiiinnneeeeeee!!!


Post a Comment

<< Home