Two Christmas gifts

Little Children, originally uploaded by *Karo*.

I'd like to take a moment to share two extremes of Christmas giving with you, dear readers. The first extreme you see above. I have a friend who looked at my amazon.com wish list and saw that I wanted Litte Children by Tom Perrotta. Apparently this friend had Mr. Perrotta as a professor at Yale and also babysat his kids, so she contacted him and had him mail me a SIGNED copy of the book, DEDICATED TO ME. I wish I had a recording of the voicemail I left this friend after I opened the package the book came in, because I have a feeling I was very amusing in my babbling shriekiness. Thank you again, dear friend.

The other extreme of Christmas giving you see below. It was given to BK by my father and his wife, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to keep referring to it as "it" because we have no idea what the hell it is. I can only imagine my father saw what he thought were manicure scissors and thought he was giving poor BK a personal grooming kit, but JESUS CHRIST DAD. The evil-looking pliers! The copious amount of lengthy tweezers! THE PLIERS ON THE FAR RIGHT THAT CONTAIN MATTER WHICH INDICATES A DISTURBING LEVEL OF PREVIOUS USE!

Readers, help us. What the hell is this? Our guesses are a DIY Surgery Starter Pack or a They Won't Be Keeping Those Secrets Long Torture Kit.

What is it?, originally uploaded by *Karo*.

Stay tuned for the next Slav installment, wherein I describe the Neo-Nazi Polish Cult my father has fallen in with in Toronto!