Tuesday, January 11, 2005

A letter to our country from myself

Dear America,

I hate to be the one to break this to you, but you are guilty of egregious overuse and misuse of the word "myself." For example, the sentence, "My husband and myself have two children" just ain't right. I don't get why this is confusing, since I never hear you saying, "Myself has two children."

Also, while I have your attention, can we discuss the pronoun "I"? I know you think you sound smart when you swap it out for "me," but believe it or not, sometimes "me" is right! That's just between you and me.



Blogger Twink said...


THANK YOU! I cannot stand when people say, "That's strictly between my husband and I." AAAAAAAAAAUGH. Give me a fork, so that I may stab out my eyes! Although I guess it's more appropriate to try to poke a knitting needle into my ears.

"Allow myself to introduce... myself."

Also, Paula Cole should be shot for:
So open up your morning light
And say a little prayer for I.
I always mentally add a little something to the end there, so it is more like:
So open up your morning light
And say a little prayer for I [have some outpatient surgery today].

January 11, 2005 at 6:18 PM  
Blogger Sarachkah said...

I also hate the Jerry Springer-ification of language.

Example #1: using "prior to" when "before" will do just fine. As in" "prior to my husband getting that other girl pregnant, we was gonna have a three-way with the Budwiser delivery man."

Example #2: saying "vehicle" instead of car or truck. As in: "When my 12 year old daughter returned my ex-wife's vehicle, there was a bag of weed under the front seat."

January 12, 2005 at 1:39 PM  
Blogger Karo said...

Preach it, sister!

Another one I hate is "whatnot." Cause we needed a fancier word for "stuff."

January 12, 2005 at 2:03 PM  
Blogger Karo said...

Just thought of another one that gets misued to death -- "literally." People, "literally" does not mean "really badly." Literally means that what you're saying should be taken ... LITERALLY. Therefore, the sentences "I want to hit the road ... LITERALLY!" and "My stomach is literally about to explode -- I am so full" do not make any sense. Unless you are going to punch the concrete or your stomach will ACTUALLY EXPLODE, you can leave off the "literally."

January 12, 2005 at 3:36 PM  
Blogger Sarachkah said...

Yes, indeedy.

As Raul was watching football last weekend, I heard the announcer say, "the quarterback was literally run over by a freight train at the 30-yard line!"

Um, no.

And corporate lingo is a whole nother area of misuse and abuse (yeah, I said a whole nother....what of it?).
Synergy, action-oriented, think outside the box, integrated solutions, and mind share....oy!

(Have you ever seen bullshit bingo? http://www.perkigoth.com/home/kermit/stuff/bullshitbingo/. 'Course, you're in academia now, so maybe you don't have to put up with this anymore. But I'll bet you got a hefty dose at your last place, the firm with the strictest anti-mule policy in the whole damn state!)

January 12, 2005 at 3:43 PM  
Blogger Twink said...

"It's wafer thin!"

What about when people use "literally," correctly, but pointlessly? Example: someone I know says things like, "This pasta was so bad that I literally had to wash my mouth out with Coke afterwards." Or, "I was so bored this weekend that I literally said to my boyfriend, 'I have GOT to get out of the house!'" Dude, I believe you. I didn't think you were using hyperbole.

January 12, 2005 at 5:58 PM  
Blogger Sarachkah said...

Sorry, I just can't stop myself.

Another one that peopel on Springer like to say to sound fancy: "as per"

Example: "As per the judge's orders, he had to go git hisself a paternity test."

January 13, 2005 at 1:45 PM  
Blogger Emptyman said...

It's all relative. There was a time when purists were up in arms over the advertising slogan "tastes good, like a cigarette should."

Are we omitting "ironical" from consideration?

January 13, 2005 at 1:57 PM  

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