Tuesday, January 04, 2005

To dream the impossible dream

I almost never remember my dreams. The rare times I do are usually when I'm really well-rested. Towards the end of the holiday break I had a doozy:

I'm pregnant again, not too far along, and I'm at the doctor's office. Suddenly the doctor tells me that I'm about to miscarry again and that the only way to possibly save the baby is to get it out RIGHT NOW. So she gives me a shot and then SLICES into my abdomen. I'm lying there thinking, "Please cry, please cry, please cry." No dice. I don't see the body, but the doctor tells me that it had two sets of arms, like one of those Hindu gods.

Then things got all crazy, as they often do in dreams, and I do get to see the fetus -- it looks like one of those vestigal twin tumors that get removed from people, all full of hair and teeth.

(I'll pause here while you yak discreetly into your cubicle's trashcan.)

So THEN they tell me that I'm going to miscarry every baby I ever conceive. Just in case you're rubbing your dry little hands together in glee, having psychoanalyzed my subconscious fears of having another miscarriage, go ahead and add BLAMING MYSELF to the mix, because THEN the doctor tells me that the reason I'm doomed for miscarriage after miscarriage is

BECAUSE I'M TOO FAT.

4 Comments:

Blogger Sarachkah said...

Wow. That is a doozy. I am in awe of your subconscious. That is like the kind of dream they might dissect in a Psych 101 class. If only one of your parents were in it . . .

January 4, 2005 at 1:12 PM  
Blogger Twink said...

You know, I once had a dream where I called my friend on a payphone and said, "What if I'm just a hack? What if I'm just not good enough to make it as a singer?" Gee, wonder what that dream was about?

January 5, 2005 at 9:25 AM  
Blogger Sarachkah said...

You know, I was having poster's remorse over my cavalier reaction to your dream. I feel compelled to also tell you:
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
YOU ARE NOT FAT.
YOUR EVENTUAL BABY WILL NOT BE A MESS OF TEETH AND HAIR.

Of all 3 of these things, I am absolutely certain.

January 5, 2005 at 11:12 AM  
Blogger Karo said...

Whaddya, kidding me? Ruminating Slav is itself a cavalier response to my LIFE, for god's sake. The more cavalier, the better!

Also, "Poster's Remorse" would be a good name for a blog.

January 5, 2005 at 11:17 AM  

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