Earl Balboa is not from Texas

No indeed, he is from Washington Township, Pennsylvania, which, as we all know, is a blue state and therefore highly enlightened.

I hope the election of George W. Bush is seen as a wake-up call to all the liberal Democrats who oppose God's will.

It is His doing that George W. Bush is still our president. Millions of born-again Christians helped win this election through our prayers and votes. Jesus speaks through the Republicans.

The Democrats will not be able to win elections until they renounce their sinful ways and stop encouraging abortions, gayness, and trying to take away our guns.

Also! I was so unbelievaably pissed off by this article in today's Salon that I was actually moved to write the following letter to the editor:

To the Editor:

You're going to be getting a lot of mail from pissed off Texas liberals for publishing Robert Bryce's "The Texas chainsaw massacre," so allow me to be one of the first to tell you how disappointed I am that Salon would publish such a load of codswallop. Hell, I just moved to Dallas (where we elected a Hispanic, lesbian sheriff last week) five months ago, and even as a non-Texan I'm getting really tired of the constant pre- and post-election Texas bashing. Ignorance exists nationwide, and I would have thought that Salon would know better than to pin our country's current woes on one state. Thirty-eight percent of us did our damndest to get that idiot out of office, and we do not appreciate being told that Bush's Hollywood cowboy worldview represents us.